To stop it from conquering the planet they injected human brain cells from an incompetent weirdo into a seperate mouse and then put the two mice in the same cage so the silly mouse will always frustrate the terrifying genius mouse’s plans
I wonder what they’re doing tonight
The same thing they do every night.
eurovision viewers: this is so unfair, countries just voting for their neighbours ugh what is this shit
also eurovision viewers: what the fUCK, WE’RE YOUR COUSINS, YOUR NEXT DOOR BUDDIES, BROTHERS IN ARMS, THE 1 TO YOUR 2, AND YOU DON’T GIVE US THE 12 POINTS LIKE HOW DARE YOU THIS IS PRACTICALLY A WAR DECLARATION
you want to know one of the things that pisses me off most about dune? it’s not a valid complaint or problematic or anything. it’s that the litany against fear works and I hate it.
I used to recite the Desiderata in my head when I was a kid at my mom’s insistence but it’s so fucking long and full of compound sentences and the stupid fucking litany just… works better lol. Stop asking me questions during blood donation I’m busy mentally humiliating myself by being a fucking insufferable nerd.
For those who, like me, are unfamiliar with the litany, from the Dune wiki:
“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”
It works because it is very simple, but complicated enough that you need to concentrate. Any short poem or the first prayer you learn in your respective faith also works.
I also personally enjoy making up limmericks but I know this is harder for other people to do.
However the Litany also has one major advantage over all of these other techniques: its thematically appropriate and even during a panic attack aesthetic is important.
Love that the new tumblr blorbo is for the most part not being referred to as a blorbo. He's not "my blorbo Jonathan Harker." He's "my friend Jonathan Harker" which we seem to have all agreed to call him before the May 7th installment where we learn that Dracula also calls him "my friend Jonathan Harker."
blorbo is from shows, my friend Jonathan Harker emails me to tell me about his day. Hope this helps
There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea’s asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there’s danger, somewhere there’s injustice, and somewhere else the tea’s getting cold.
— Doctor Who • 1963 -
Count Dracula, reclining on a sofa casually reading a railway timetable: I am being so normal right now
My favorite explanations for this moment, in order of how much they make me laugh:
Likely Doylist explanation: Bram Stoker wants you to realize this is weird and feel nervous about the Count because of it.
Likely Watsonian explanation: This is another facet of Dracula’s studying, so that he’ll blend in better once he gets to England.
Unlikely but funny Doylist explanation: Bram Stoker (as will be shown later) thinks this is a reasonable thing to do, and the sign of a species of Superior Intellect.
Funnier Watsonian explanation: While Jonathan was fetching paperwork, Dracula ran into the other room, set the table at superspeed, ran back to the library, grabbed the first book his hand fell on, and carefully posed himself to look like he’d been there the whole time. Whereupon he realized that he had picked up the Weirdest Possible Casual Reading Choice but didn’t have time to pick another book and now has to brazen it out. Like a cat, Dracula at all times has to act like He Meant to Do That. He’s studying train timetables - of course he is! That’s a completely reasonable and normal human thing to do in preparation for moving to a new country! Train travel is a vital piece of British infrastructure that he needs to understand!
Jonathan now thinks that Dracula is a train enthusiast.
It’s not just a train timetable! It’s also a general travel guide containing recommended tourist destinations and fun facts. He’s studying England
Bradshaw’s is incredibly detailed in its description and travel advice! I own a copy of it and we have a long running travel tv show in the UK where ex-MP Michael Portillo goes to all of the places in it!
today I learned one of the approved methods field researchers use to “muzzle” dangerous snapping turtles while weighing them:
It’s called a “THIS” - Turtle Head Immobilization System.
Munscher, E. C., Butterfield, B. P., Carstairs, S., Dupuis-Désormeaux, M., Munscher, J., Osborne, W., & Hauge, B. (2015). The Turtle Head Immobilization System (THIS): A Tool for Faster and Safer Handling and Processing of Aggressive Turtle Species. Reptiles & Amphibians, 22(4), 173–177.
The This!
That name came about because someone went “well shit we need to stop this little dude biting!” And someone held up a fucking plunger and said “use this!” And you cannot change my mind about that.
The funniest Dune headcanon by a long shot is trans boy Paul. Jessica breaks the Bene Gesserit breeding program to have a baby and the mothers go "Oh, phew, a daughter. Could have been WAY worse." Then thirteen years later the Reverend Mother learns that Paul has socially transitioned and starts punching drywall
